The Boy and The Coconut Tree

Surrounded by Christmas decorations, forced to listen to Christmas songs and it is November 19th. Christmas now lasts from Bonfire Night or Halloween until Valentines Day.  It is exhausting. I am exhausted by it but it won't put me off my actual Christmas break. I'm definitely half grinch!? November 2016 has been a funny month, a mix of the good, the bad and the bizarre. My birthday was a lacklustre affair, and I should have known not to drink when I was in a weird mood, the alcohol turns me into an emotional wreck, all that was missing were the panda eyes from ruined mascara.  No, it wasn't THAT bad but I've had better but my friends were great as always. I was surrounded by friends and some family and they indulged me, you need to be indulged on your birthday.  The bizarre event was/is Trump, he has been elected in the USA despite losing the popular vote by over 1 million but it isn't the system that is flawed, it was the campaigns and the hate filled rhetori

The story of a man doing a deal with the devil to improve his life, or gain knowledge, or seek revenge on his enemies is an old one, told in different versions over many cultures.  I had read about Dr Faustus , the Christopher Marlow play, at school or maybe not (my school wasn't big on culture) and had a memory of it and thought the idea was an interesting one.  Last week I was given the opportunity to see it on the stage in London with a colleague and performed by the RSC so it had to be good, right? The Barbican itself is a strange mix of people, the audience can range from little old ladies sipping tea in the cafes to hipsters admiring the ugly buildings and people pretending to understand the more obtuse art installations (I never try to understand them). The audience for the play was a mix and of course the person sitting in front of me was the tallest human in the place, he had to be 8ft tall but most of it seemed to be leg so I could easily see over him. Sat two rows from

Only two weeks ago I was   writing about my romantic disasters , my romantic future and how my time on the shelf had become the norm for me, rather than an occasional experience. I revisited my past recently, very recently. The past weekend in Manchester. Over the past 10 months I had been in contact with an old flame, someone I met a long long time ago, 20 years or so and though the contact was benign and felt nice, it culminated in a reunion of sorts this past weekend. Awkward at first, it is amazing the power of alcohol has on awkwardness and a sense of shyness.  Two people, who were together for little under 2 years, broke up 21 years ago and ended up in bed again. I don't recall who initiated it, it doesn't matter, it felt nice and human nature leads us to doing things that feel nice, we forget the down side to doing things that open us up to hurt. The lesson is, scabs heal, and they may leave scars, small ones, but scars all the same. I have admitted on this blog ma

The title of this post comes from a song, one of my favourites, sung by The Three Degrees and I will post it here as it is light, up beat and fun: The title of the blog arises from my turning back on the dating game. I have been single for most of the last 11 years, yes 11 years. I have had sprinkles of romance in those 11 years, a few months here and there, especially in Spain and a bit here in London but I have simply lost the will to throw myself to the wolves.  As a gay man your age is important, then take your physique.  You are always at your most desirable from 18-30, especially 18-25 (your popularity peaks as does your willingness to be promiscuous), then you expect your 30s to be calmer, settled, maybe finding Mister Right (he doesn't exist, not for me you or any one, we put people on pedestals and they fall).  My decline in dating took place from my late 30s. In my 20s and 30s I could reasonably expect to meet someone new and interesting every month if not more.

One of my aunts will be 70 next week, she is lovely and very funny so I wanted to find a card that was cute, funny and not too rude.  I certainly didn't want to send her a card with 70 written on it, she is a very young at heart lady, so I went to some card shops in central London this weekend to look. These are cards that I have either thought of sending or sent over the past year or two.  Card I sent to my mam this year for her birthday, she loved it! I decided on something less naughty for my aunty but think, secretly she would have appreciated any of these? And then there are these two which will be sent to friends at some point this year!  Could apply to many people I know ... Could also apply to a lot of people I know... And this is the card I decided on for my aunt: August 7, 2016

I can't believe it has been a month since the referendum on the EU, it has gone so fast and so many things have happened and are ongoing.  We have a new Prime Minister, that happened faster than most of us expected but thankfully it isn't Boris Johnson or Andrea Leadsom. I dislike Theresa May as I am not a Tory and she is a stereotypical Tory and I doubt our civil liberties, human rights or privacy are safe in her hands but time will tell.   The exit from the EU is being delayed, I am happy about that and what we may end up with is a sort of compromise membership but British tantrums over the rules will only be tolerated for so long. Britain has a history of tantrum throwing when it comes to the EU and our membership has often been questioned by some of the other members.  I often feel we have been a well-poisoner , in it but never really wanting it to work but happy to profit from it, our businesses certainly have.  Many British people have benefited from the EU, some don&

Living with cats I'm enjoying a day off so after a few extra hours of sleep and a nice slow breakfast I headed out to be a tourist, a shopper, get my hair cut and meet some friends.  My day off is busier than a working day. During my hair cut, the hairdresser and me discussed how she has to have clothes for work and clothes and keeps them separate from everything else because of the hairs that get everywhere and are difficult to shift.  I told her about the two cats I am currently looking after and how their hairs are everywhere even though they are not allowed in my room but as they are all over my flatmates' clothes, they end up on mine etc. She asked me about the cats and their personalities, I did laugh at that. Everyone thinks cats are great, I am indifferent. One of the cats is cute and friendly, the other one, the older, hates me, she growls at me whenever I get close and has cornered me once or twice in the hallway.  I look after them by feeding them, changi

“People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.” — Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird I started this post with a quote from one of my all-time favourite books, To Kill A Mockingbird.  It as applicable now as when it was first published, so this is what I see, what I hear and what I feel. I don’t expect all my audience to agree with it but anyone who knows me knows I have strong opinions on the EU, though it is a flawed and imperfect institution it had potential to be better and we could have been a catalyst for improvement but due to Europhobia in the Conservative Party and xenophobia stirred up by UKIP, we are in a mess! It has been one week since we voted and chose to leave the EU but we are still in a limbo, a level of hell that Dante couldn’t envision when he wrote his ‘Inferno’. Our PM has resigned but will stay on until September 10th or so.  We have an opposition in disarray, fighting over the leadership but ignoring the membership and the EU l

Momentous and disastrous, foolish, a leap into the unknown driven by petty nationalism.  That sums up my feelings today regarding the Brexit, the decision by 52% of the voters to leave the EU, few of them knowing what it means, what is has meant or has done for them. In fact, I am  so bloody angry about Brexit. My life since 1988 has been positively shaped by the EU and Europeans since I left my small town. Looking at the results show me I was right to leave. I may be from there but I don't belong there and that is sad! What many of them back there do not realize is, much of the economic renaissance since the dreadful 80s was due to the EU, money from it or access to its markets.  Ignorance of many economic realities and the belief that the UK will be better somehow if we turn our backs on 70 years of neighbourly cooperation is what has fed people’s fury.  I am lucky to have experienced the EU and its positives, I have worked for a French company that sent me to the USA to work, a

I visited Vietnam in February 2011 and took a train from Saigon (HCMC) to Hue. The journey was 20 hours and I shared a berth with 3 locals. One of them was Dang Ngoc Hieu a 24 year old shopkeeper from Tuyen Quang. Only one person in the berth could speak English so using my phrase book and drawings, we chatted. For 20 hours I was overwhelmed by a sense of being the centre of attention in the most innocent way. This boy from Tuyen Quang had never met a foreigner; he lives in a small village, an 8 hour drive north of Hanoi, closer to China than Hanoi.  He asked for my phone number and in rough English asked me to visit Tuyen Quang province if I ever returned to Hanoi.  A totally innocent experience that felt like my first ever crush and so hard to put into words.  Our lives are very different.  And the coconut tree? Hieu was delivering it to his village from relatives in Saigon. He carried it almost 2000km by the time he reached his home in Thuong Lam village. So in February 2011

I am writing this in the gloom of an English summer day. May 31st, dark grey and very wet and rather depressing. Well the day may not be depressing that could be my general mood today with my allergies firing on all cylinders and the medication from my doctor causing me to feel a little "out of it/detached" I wanted to start this entry by writing something about Harambe, the  gorilla shot dead in Cincinnati  for the perceived threat it posed to a 4 year old child who had fallen into the enclosure after squeezing through the security fence etc.  Children are curious and I know from my experience at London Zoo, children love gorillas, I love gorillas, they are magnificent and no I wouldn't want to be in an enclosure with a 170kg male gorilla, he would rip me apart, well he may rip me apart, we can't know. These animals can be gentle and dangerous. I watched the video a few times and I don't feel that the gorilla would have harmed the child. He was rough with th

Today, April 20 2016, one of my all time favourite entertainers died. Victoria Wood's comedy played such a big part of my life, especially my teens that I feel genuinely sad.  Her sketches were a daily part of my life as a teen, me and my friends laughed out loud over and over at them, we quoted them, we re-enacted them in 6th form common room or over a beer in the pub. There are far too many of her sketches to post on here but I am going to post my favourite few, anyone who claims to know me well, will understand why I derive so much pleasure from these sketches. Sketch 1, Department store cafe, some great lines! Sketch 2, Italian Restaurant sketch  Sketch 3, 2 Soups (a classic even though Victoria isn't in it ) Sketch 4, The Ballad of  Barry and Freda Sketch 5, Acorn Antiques (I could post all of them!) I recommend her sketches to anyone who loves comedy. The world is certainly a less funny place today! And remember, never use

Today is the Grand National , one of the most famous horse races in the world. I have probably watched it every year, especially during my childhood as my grandfather loved horse racing.  I have sometimes placed a bet but though I watch it, I don't know a thing about horses or the grass or the racecourse (well I know it is near Liverpool) so I choose my horses based on the numbers I choose for the lottery and the colours.  I think most people do the same apart from serious gamblers who really follow the horses and know their speed, the weight of the teeny tiny jockeys etc. I am an amateur and have been in a betting shop about 3 times in my adult life (I went in more as a child with my grandfather). I was banned from a betting shop when I was a child (or so the story goes) because I turned off all the televisions when my grandad was in there placing a bet.  I am sure in 1973 it was illegal for me to be in there in the first place!? One of the horses I've bet on, "No C

I was once told by a former manager that you had to be careful what you wished for, be it work or in life. I never quite understood what he meant until I was transferred to Boston for a few weeks that turned into almost two years. I thought that was cool, something I hadn't asked for, so why should I be sorry? However, his words of warning did come true this time.  I was interviewed for a job in May 2015, the job description met my wish list and the people who interviewed me were lovely, what could go wrong!? The gap between the interview and starting was almost 5 weeks due to security checks etc.  Once I started, both those lovely people from the interview had resigned and my adventure and downward spiral began.  I won't name the place I worked, for obvious legal reasons, let’s call it the Commission and see how many of you guess where it is?  My first 2 months weren't too bad but when the vacancy for my line manager was finally filled, so my troubles began.  We clash

This is the final night of my 6 day trip to Italy, the wind is blowing so hard that masonry is falling from the buildings nearby (well this city is old) and the air outside my hotel window is full of paper and plastic bags flying about, this is Naples a city that I've fallen for in the past 3 days. Although my trip included a side visit to Florence and Pisa I won't dwell on either, I've been to Florence twice before and it needs no explanations and Pisa was a nice side trip though the weather really didn't work for me, I was drenched and it is very hard to be motivated about anything when all of your clothes are dripping wet.  The tower is what it is and I am glad I saw it. The slightly tilted tower of Pisa  So a few days in Florence catching up with a friend I've not seen in 3 years, a great hotel, Room Mate Luca  where my friend Luca works. Florence is a great city to wander around, eat and drink (I had some great food in little Osterias in the cit