The Boy and The Coconut Tree

Yesterday was the last day of school for most British children until September.  For many, like one of my nephews, it was his last day in primary school and that is a significant day in a child's life.  I don't quite remember by last day in primary (junior school) but I know that my first day in secondary school was very very scary, everyone seemed so big compared to us and quite mean compared to the relative niceness of primary school. I hope my nephew's experience is a good once. So today is the first day of the school holidays aka the 6 weeks holiday. My memories of the school holidays are good ones, as most of them were spent at my grandparents house, playing out, exploring, playing with my LEGO and being spoilt rotten.  A perfect summer. Today it is raining, it rained all last night and it doesn't feel very summery to me. I want 6 weeks off to relax, get my head together and escape from the world of grown ups, deadlines, reports, meetings and irritating work situa...

Only two weeks ago I was   writing about my romantic disasters , my romantic future and how my time on the shelf had become the norm for me, rather than an occasional experience. I revisited my past recently, very recently. The past weekend in Manchester. Over the past 10 months I had been in contact with an old flame, someone I met a long long time ago, 20 years or so and though the contact was benign and felt nice, it culminated in a reunion of sorts this past weekend. Awkward at first, it is amazing the power of alcohol has on awkwardness and a sense of shyness.  Two people, who were together for little under 2 years, broke up 21 years ago and ended up in bed again. I don't recall who initiated it, it doesn't matter, it felt nice and human nature leads us to doing things that feel nice, we forget the down side to doing things that open us up to hurt. The lesson is, scabs heal, and they may leave scars, small ones, but scars all the same. I have admitted on this blog m...

I visited Vietnam in February 2011 and took a train from Saigon (HCMC) to Hue. The journey was 20 hours and I shared a berth with 3 locals. One of them was Dang Ngoc Hieu a 24 year old shopkeeper from Tuyen Quang. Only one person in the berth could speak English so using my phrase book and drawings, we chatted. For 20 hours I was overwhelmed by a sense of being the centre of attention in the most innocent way. This boy from Tuyen Quang had never met a foreigner; he lives in a small village, an 8 hour drive north of Hanoi, closer to China than Hanoi.  He asked for my phone number and in rough English asked me to visit Tuyen Quang province if I ever returned to Hanoi.  A totally innocent experience that felt like my first ever crush and so hard to put into words.  Our lives are very different.  And the coconut tree? Hieu was delivering it to his village from relatives in Saigon. He carried it almost 2000km by the time he reached his home in Thuong Lam village....

It could be said that I have had more comebacks than Cher and maybe that is true and maybe I have more comebacks and swansongs left in me yet,who nows, we should never set ourselves limits, they never work, humans, especially me, are always destined to push boundaries, limits, bend rules and test the waters a little. Its in my DNA and it is the way I was raised (thank you to my parents who have taught me never to feel too sorry for myself and have taught me that I am never alone!) So I returned to England 38 days ago and the jury is still out on my decision. I am sad to not be in Barcelona but I am happy not to be in Barcelona at the same time.  Barcelona for me was like having a whirlwind romance with the most handsome man in the world, I fell headfirst, I ignored his flaws, I ignored my own weaknesses and masked over the cracks with a smile and hoped the sunshine and latin/catalan atmosphere would sweep me up. It sure did then often dumped me on the rocks. If I had been 24...

 It has been so long since I wrote in my blog. I was trying to find the specific reason/ or reasons for not writing and I have none. Life is what happened. Barcelona life has swept me up in her arms and I am living it. I rarely had time to write a blog when I lived in London and the same goes for Barcelona. It has been 9 months today since I arrived and I've now got into a stride which I didn't expect and I am no longer looking for the exit sign. That has to be good. What is also happening is I am learning a lot about myself, even at 44 there is a lot to learn. I gave my life a mini audit over Christmas. I realized what was important and what wasn't. I've learned to worry about the people who worry about me and nothing more. I've learned to enjoy the things that life throws my way and not worry about the things I am missing. We are masters of our own destiny and I feel I am more of a master than most. Early evening looking to Mount Tibidabo, March 7 ...