Is my destiny in my hands or in the hands of someone else?
2013 has barely begun and I am restless. I am always restless. I have yet to comprehend the reasons for my restlessness but ever since leaving home in 1988 for university, I haven't looked back. I do look back to my home with fondness and I visit as often as I can, 4 times in 2012 and probably 6 times in 2011 but since that 18 year old wide-eyed youth left Sunderland in September 1988 I have been fortunate to visit 18 countries, work in 6 and live in 4. I want to see the world. I am not sure what brought be back in August 2011 to London. It was probably the naive belief I could slot back in, resume work and social ties that existed before and this is partially true. The friends I made before going to university and those made at university remain my friends, some friends have passed by. I spent new years eve with a friend I met 19 years but over the past few years the invites have fallen away. I can go weeks without socialising. I went back to my old job, a job which I dislike for its banality, the petty rules, the lack of personality and the constant nagging of management who mistake a loud and outgoing personality for disrespect and stupidity. Anyone who truly knows me, knows I am not of these things.
So the decision to stay or go is almost upon me. I cannot breathe here in London. I am bored and combined with loneliness and a job that stifles me, I want to scream. I have realised my passions are travel, teaching and writing and I need something that combines those passions. As a writer I can express my personality, as a traveller I can see the world and meet people and see things that many people will never see and as a teacher I can use my personality and love of language to best effect. In less than 48 hours I will have made one of the biggest decisions of my life, it will rank with going to university away from home in 1988, coming out in 1993, moving to Australia in 1998 and going back to university in 2002. I've done a straw poll among some of my oldest and closest friends and only 2 have said stop.
Sean David Usher
January 5, 2013
So the decision to stay or go is almost upon me. I cannot breathe here in London. I am bored and combined with loneliness and a job that stifles me, I want to scream. I have realised my passions are travel, teaching and writing and I need something that combines those passions. As a writer I can express my personality, as a traveller I can see the world and meet people and see things that many people will never see and as a teacher I can use my personality and love of language to best effect. In less than 48 hours I will have made one of the biggest decisions of my life, it will rank with going to university away from home in 1988, coming out in 1993, moving to Australia in 1998 and going back to university in 2002. I've done a straw poll among some of my oldest and closest friends and only 2 have said stop.
Sean David Usher
January 5, 2013
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