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I will not go gentle into that good night of Brexit

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I am paraphrasing this Dylan Thomas poem that has a first verse as follows: Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Brexit is 6 days away and although I am no longer angry and disgusted at this act of spiteful, fake patriotic suicide, I am still not resigned to it. Brexiters want people like me to accept it, embrace it and look forward to the future. I am still not hearing what that future will be or how good it will be for all of us. Some assessments of the Brexiters have claimed that the working classes felt so betrayed by the establishment and so left behind by the progress made since 1973 that they rejected it all, liberated themselves from the shackles of EU control. I am sure that some people who voted to leave the EU had a true understanding of its mechanisms and benefits, but I know that many didn't. I grew up in a very working class, left behind area, an area that hit rock ...

The big Five O and Hawaii 5 O

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As I began typing this I have 6 days left of my forties. I am sitting in downtown San Francisco just off Market Street and very close to the famous Trolly Bus stop. I love this city and this must be by 12th visit and each time I visit experience something new and fun.  Last night I joined my friends for the Dia de los Muertos festival/parade. A very strange experience. The parade was over 1 hour long through the mainly latin Mission District but the people in the parade came from all over with a good sprinkling of hipsters and millennials.  This is my 3rd day here and I am still jet-lagged, wide awake at 4am, exhausted at 4pm but hopefully more time in the sun should resolve that. I am now sitting at my gate for my flight to Hawaii. I will write more of this when I am settled in my hotel mid week as this trip has been fun and social but not yet restful. I need sleep and sunshine and some me time! :) Hawaii was amazing.  I saw volcanoes (and stood on one), a...

Letter to my biological father.

I don't really know the man I am writing to. I have spent no more than 24 hours with him since 1973 when he moved away with his new family and pretended I didn't exist.  When he swept back into my life in 1984 he acted as if he was the 2nd coming of Christ, he expected me to worship him as a long lost hero.  My first impressions of my biological father when I was 14 were not good. He was trying to be cool and he wasn't. He thought this cynical kid was going to be impressed by his guitar and cigars, I wasn't. I was of course curious, who wouldn't be!? I had loads of questions and still do. He acted as if his abandonment of me was normal yet wondered why I had forgotten he existed.  I was 3.5 when he vanished with his new wife. I am told the story how he offered me to my Dad as if I was a possession. Now my mother has never said too many bad things about him. We have talked about his strict upbringing, the bulling by his father, the smothering by his mother and the o...

Je zegt dat je niet langer van mij houdt..?

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I will explain the title later.  I have just returned from a visit to Amsterdam to see another part of my family, my brother Andrew, his wife Laura and their little girl, Toni.  I stayed in their home in the hear of the  Jordaan district overlooking the  Brouwersgracht . This wasn't my first trip to Amsterdam but it was the first time I stayed in a family home and it made a difference to experience the city like a local, meeting the locals. I met some interesting people that I would never have met, a particular mention must be the two ladies who work in a coffee store on  Haarlemmerstraat. The two ladies who work in there were funny, not a word of English was spoken but they told me and Andrew we looked nothing alike but we did have the same wrinkles! I bought a lovely Indonesian coffee that was darker than ebony and smells divine. I had to be careful talking about coffee shops as there is a huge difference between a coffee shop and a cafe.   ...

Snow days and Brexit

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I've tried my hardest to avoid writing about Brexit, partly in the hope it is going to go away or I'll wake up and find out I was having a bad dream about a country that decided to turn its back on its closest friends and sought refuge in the mythical paradise of Trump's USA and communist China. Sadly it is true and the days are counting down and the faux patriotic cliches continue to pour out of the mouths of our politicians and right wing journalists. Industries threat to relocate and reduce investment and the Brexiter response is either 'let them, well cope' or 'they are blackmailing us, they want more money' , no they don't want more money, they want stability and access to the EU markets.  Sure the UK doesn't make as many bits and bobs as it did 50 years ago but those bits and bobs (cars, aeroplane wings, medicines, aero engines) go to the EU in vast quantities and the EU is really good at doing trade deals with other big countries, Japan thi...

Examination time

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This week I sat an exam for the first time since 2004.  The exam itself was as I expected, difficult but not too testing but the experience was interesting, especially the planning of it, the allowing of late students to enter the exam room and the complete lack of buzz you normally feel before and after an exam. One of the better parts of exams at school was the joint experience with your friends before and after, the drinks in the pub after our A levels etc. This was very corporate, no interaction with my fellow students and no support or guidance from the institute. The #ICSA qualification is a good one but ICSA seem to be about money rather than a holistic approach to education and learning.  I didn't enjoy it despite enjoying the subject matter. I will have to think long and hard about continuing with this course at this institute as it doesn't feel like value for money.  My friends laughed at my exam routine, a routine I've had since my O levels. I take in ...

Charitable words and deeds

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I have just spent the past 6 weeks working for a major UK charity and I truly admire the work it does and I am amazed at its ability to deliver services to people as it undergoes a major change to its structure. I witnessed the complex changes, it is undergoing, first hand. I didn't stay longer than 6 weeks as my role was one of the things chopped and changed during the restructure and luckily I had another contract to go to.  What did shock me about the charity was the way some of the senior people spoke to their juniors.  During a very senior level meeting one of the trustees referred to me a a 'Nazi' and 'Dr Mengele' and this was the first time he had met me and was part of his 'getting to know me banter' .. I was shocked and if we had been alone I would have let rip on him but as he is also the Lord Lieutenant of London I thought it best to stay quiet and simply make some sarcastic comments about him forgetting to close car doors for the royals (it is ...