The wanderer returns.

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It could be said that I have had more comebacks than Cher and maybe that is true and maybe I have more comebacks and swansongs left in me yet,who nows, we should never set ourselves limits, they never work, humans, especially me, are always destined to push boundaries, limits, bend rules and test the waters a little. Its in my DNA and it is the way I was raised (thank you to my parents who have taught me never to feel too sorry for myself and have taught me that I am never alone!)


So I returned to England 38 days ago and the jury is still out on my decision. I am sad to not be in Barcelona but I am happy not to be in Barcelona at the same time.  Barcelona for me was like having a whirlwind romance with the most handsome man in the world, I fell headfirst, I ignored his flaws, I ignored my own weaknesses and masked over the cracks with a smile and hoped the sunshine and latin/catalan atmosphere would sweep me up. It sure did then often dumped me on the rocks. If I had been 24 and more romantic and more optimistic and brave these things would not worry me, I would have laughed and shrugged and moved on, at 44 I feel unable to be so brave, so blase about these things. I want adventure and romance but I want it a little less tectonic, less seismic, fewer earthquakes and eruptions, and more calm seas and blue skies. This song became my internal theme song in my last few months in Barcelona, it never fails to make me happy..(the full title translates as "I'm happy being with you..)



London for me is a necessity rather than a delight, there are few places in the English speaking world that have this concentration of work and people and contacts that I need to work, in an ideal world without visas and immigration rules I may be living and working in San Francisco or New York or even Montreal but we aren't so here I am, reconnecting with people, job hunting and rediscovering a city that 2 years ago made me miserable. The best thing about it is I am only 3 hours from my family and that is never a bad thing. 18 months in Spain have relaxed me, given me a modified outlook on life and I made some wonderful friends there and I almost learnt a language though no one is ever going to ask me to be speak in Spanish for them.

London, September 13, 2014

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