Marriage in all but name
A few years ago two of my friends had been together almost 12 years and they
felt marriage would mark a positive and inevitable stage in their relationship. The bank holiday weekend finally provided a chance for me and others who know them to celebrate their love: it was their wedding day.
I will refer to it as a wedding because the whole experience was so similar to every wedding I have ever been to and, as far as all the people involved last weekend were concerned, that is what it was. I will always call it marriage despite the current debate and opposition from some Tory politicians.
Legally speaking, though, it was just a civil partnership ceremony. I did not know much about civil partnerships until I attended this event, but it feels as if they are a half-way house because the government will not go ahead and allow gay men and women to have a civil marriage. Why not? I don't understand this. What are they frightened of? Surely a small minority of closed-minded people cannot deprive another minority of their entitlement to equality under our legal system. Why not let us get married in the same that way our parents, siblings and friends can do?
My friends wanted their marriage to be as traditional as possible within the law, and they decided that one of them would take the others surname - something the current process doesn't allow for.
When a man and woman marry, the woman can either continue to use her maiden name or she can adopt her husband's surname. If she decides to take her husband's surname the marriage certificate provides the necessary documentary evidence of the change. Civil partnerships do not provide this option at present, so it is necessary for a person to change their name by Deed Poll which is what happened in my friends' case. Shouldn't we be fighting for and demanding full equality within the legal system?
I will refer to it as a wedding because the whole experience was so similar to every wedding I have ever been to and, as far as all the people involved last weekend were concerned, that is what it was. I will always call it marriage despite the current debate and opposition from some Tory politicians.
Legally speaking, though, it was just a civil partnership ceremony. I did not know much about civil partnerships until I attended this event, but it feels as if they are a half-way house because the government will not go ahead and allow gay men and women to have a civil marriage. Why not? I don't understand this. What are they frightened of? Surely a small minority of closed-minded people cannot deprive another minority of their entitlement to equality under our legal system. Why not let us get married in the same that way our parents, siblings and friends can do?
My friends wanted their marriage to be as traditional as possible within the law, and they decided that one of them would take the others surname - something the current process doesn't allow for.
When a man and woman marry, the woman can either continue to use her maiden name or she can adopt her husband's surname. If she decides to take her husband's surname the marriage certificate provides the necessary documentary evidence of the change. Civil partnerships do not provide this option at present, so it is necessary for a person to change their name by Deed Poll which is what happened in my friends' case. Shouldn't we be fighting for and demanding full equality within the legal system?
We cannot allow a minority, hiding behind their religious beliefs, to deprive another minority of equality. Giving gay people the right to marry will not deprive the opponents of anything but a bit of lost pride.
February 2013/May 2008
February 2013/May 2008
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